Fistfight between friends

Dear dost,
Last week when I wrote the finale of Neta's marriage, I was apprehensive about the
response.I expected nothing.But, to my utter surprise I received few bouquets and several brickbats for writing a sloppy story. Some questioned my command over this Queen's language, some abused me for using so much FUCKING words inspired by Delhi Belly.

Nevertheless , I received few encouraging words from some unexpected quarters. That is precisely the reason why I am doing this again.You can like it or you don't. But some stories are waiting to come out from the womb of a computer.So, these stories will take shape like aliens in Resident Evil.You can not stymie the growth of a brand new Species once they have entered our atmosphere.

An idea is like a seed of wheat,it will grow herself and feed you on your vitreous glass dining table.
So, the journey to a hidden treasure is about to begin.
Girdle up your loins ....simply said ..get ready .....Bon Voyage.


Circa A.D.1999- A.D. 2002
Location - a bustling and laidback city on river Ganges i.e. Benaras
Actors -
1st group - Dilip,Naveen,Vishal,Ajitabh,Aniket,Sourish,Viky,Neta and many more
2nd group- Kaushal,Sharad,Chandan,Vivek,Dhiraj,Raghwendra,and few others including outsiders

Few ambitious young boys get admission in Benaras Hindu University.They entered a 1300 acre campus surrounded by high walls,a sprawling campus rich in flora and fauna as well as young geniuses.They get admitted into Acharya Narendra Dev Hostel as freshers. This hostel is one of the finest among 60 Hostels(including 17 girls hostel) of BHU.
First two years of college life passes off like flood waters of Ganga. Studies are a pastime in BHU, we do extra-curricular activities round-the-year and reads books near exam dates in Central Library or Vishwanath Temple. Hostel rooms are not meant for study,they are meant for doing something more constructive like reading pornography.

Those days there were two categories of such good books, English Digest for classes and Mastram baba for masses. We enjoyed Mastram baba a little bit more due to desiness of events. However, for english improvement we also read Digests occasionally. We had few suppliers like Manik who dealt exclusively in vernacular language and his customers included students of Govt. school educated Hindi medium Desi boys.There was another group of Convent-educated
suppliers who dealt in Debonair-like material.I had the opportunity to straddle both worlds.

However,these were minor events but we.hostellers of A.N.D. will never forgive Sushma Swaraj,then Minister of Information & Broadcasting for her gross injustice on A.N.D. boys. She banned a Russian news/entertainment channel namely TB 6 for no fault of ours. We used to watch late-night current affairs programme on weekends on this particular channel. But, she took the devastating decision of banning this esteemed channel due to alleged obscenity in the contents.

What rubbish, we hostellers never found anything obscene on this channel, or why else we had to wake up at mid-night and go to Common Room for watching T.V.It was more like a study session which some of us did during exam time. Intellecuals like Prashant Thakur were front -benchers while Kaushal, Sharad Rai and few others joined during 2nd,3rd year.Our esteemed seniors taught us to watch this programme religiously.

Next time when we voted in 2004 general election,we A.N.Dians made sure that this lady lost the election and NDA govenment was voted out of the power centres in Delhi.She was bound to pay for her faults or why else you will ban a channel in a B.H.U.hostel while sitting cosily in Sanchar Bhavan.

During our first year,we were ragged by seniors of different dimensions.We were subjected to various degrees of ragging based on our capacity to tolerate nonsense. It was not like what you have seen in 3-idiots but much more nasty than that. Fuck words were the ultimate destination. If you can utter those words easily,then your ordeal was less arduous.

It surprises me even now that why I took so many minutes to use those words then. I was a grown-up boy of 18-years then, adult enough to elect Lalu Yadav or an oratory genius Vajpayee , but was hesitating in using swear words which have become a lingo now.

For example,
Bhonsriwale is the most understated word of hindi dictionary.Even Premchand would not have been able to define this word easily. It took me few years to grasp this magic word. I mastered it & now I can claim to be a scholar on this Bhonsriwale thing. First time I heard this word during a fiery ragging session organized in room of Ashish bhaiya.

what the fuck ....what does this word mean.I decided to consult my batchmates but they were as naive as me. Bhargava Hindi dictionary was found ,but to no avail. I headed for Central Library of B.H.U.,the mecca of books as well as dictionaries. Sahni dictionary also failed,so did few other publishers. I was disheartened to the core, what is the use of such a huge library when you can not find the meaning of a simple as well as pleasant to human ear word.

Google had just begin its journey back then in 1999 & anyway internet cafes were not mushrooming those days.They were costly too,you could have hired a Mercedeze at the same cost as surfing Internet for few hours.

Imagine a day in your life without availing the services of Google appliances now ? You will feel constipated. You need a daily dose of gmail to keep your heart beating regularly.

Same goes with hand-held mobile phones.Can you recall a day when you did not use this maddening device ? When was the last time, you didn't touched this addictive device for more than 24-hours ? Try hard and leaf through your feeble memory to recall such a day. If successful,then give me a call on my 04-year old Nokia N 73. Yes, I insist your feeble/weak memory,because you are not using it.

Suppose, I ask you a question.......Tell me the capital Of Mongolia ?.........
Think.....................Think....................Think............

If you can't recall it within 02 seconds then the chances are that you have lost the data.Your hard disk is not compatible with your processor. You are still using Pentium -II instead of i 7 . Increase your RAM to 4 GB atleast ,you can go higher if you wish to.Sky is not the limit here dost..........Just yesterday Homo Sapiens have dispatched a flying machine for the journey to planet Jupiter......just 2.4 Billion Kms. or Light years away. I am not sure about the unit because I haven't googled it.

So, you are still thinking about Mangolia.


And one warning...do not google this question for God's sake. Find it without using any appliances. We have developed this idiotic tendency of googling anything and every thing..

Avoid it........You got few hundreds grams of brain cells to do the job.Consult a book,if you need to clarify. Visit the dying institution of Library in your neighbourhood.
Give your librarian a wild hug aka Munnabhai style. Jaadu ki Jhappi, they call it.This Rajkumar Hirani fellow is a funny man, I doubt he is an alumunus of B.H.U.,otherwise how he would know that boys of A.N.D. Hostel were always eager to give Jaadu ki Jhappi to Budhau round-the-clock. Our beloved Yash will certify this fact.


Feeling sleepy now. Need to leave my 2 GB-powered Core 2 Duo processor alone now.See you some other time .....other day.....

Happy reading..................................